Sharing the Chore Duty

Chores:  Most of us do not need to take on the full load when it comes to chores – though there are always circumstances, like living solo, that require it.  Talk with your children and partner. List some critical things that you think have to be done in your house.  Get their ideas, too! For example in the food area it might include: making a grocery list, meal planning, food prep, set and clear the table, clean up.  Your child’s future roommate will thank you for teaching them this approach. 

Write up the responsibilities with your children to minimize nagging (not that it will eliminate it).  Do some training if necessary to make sure you both have the same understanding of what a clean bathroom is, for example. If you do get resistance (and of course you will), you could try natural consequences.  If they don’t empty the trash, put it all in their room – especially the stinky stuff. 

Let them know the plan. Here’s a personal example:  if they don’t do their chore of setting the table, they could go without a plate at the table …depending on the age.  I do have to confess that we tried this with my seven year old granddaughter when she did not set the table following way too many reminders.  We finally just got our own plates, served ourselves and started eating.  When that was discovered, there was a loooong melt-down (not us) proclaiming that we were unfair and did not love her.  So, there’s that.  We forgot to let her know that this was the plan.  Sheesh.  So, let them know the plan ahead of time.

And if it’s a bad day, give grace to yourself and those you live with.

New Routines For All

First of all, take it easy on yourself!  So much pressure to assume you can jump into this new position on top of living in close quarters!  New for you and new for your kids.  So, I have a few suggestions:

1-      If you are normally an “unscheduled” person, you may want to consider some little changes (baby steps😊) to developing a routine.  For example – set a time for breakfast just to get the day started.  Eat together, talk about what is happening for the day.  It’s a kindness to everyone to be on the same page and have the same expectations.

2-      If you are super-scheduled and organized, maybe take a breath.  Give yourself fewer “deadlines” and get some input from your kids – and spouse if you have one.  If you are so over-scheduled, the pressure and timelines will most likely end in exhaustion and frustration – for all of you!

3-      The best success plan would be to get input from your kids, maybe individualize schedules with general blocks of time, then give them their schedule the day before you start it.  NOT:  “Hey, surprise!  This is your new life for the foreseeable future!! “ Then be ready to check out what worked and didn’t work for them and adjust. 

4-      I home-schooled for many years, and we did math and language in the morning and then left the afternoon for art, science, walks, games, reading.  Allow for flexibility as children learn in many different ways – and this is a time to allow for that! (more on that next post).

5-      We also incorporated a one-hour time period of no talking 😉 – rest time where you all get a break from each other.  Use a timer!

6-      About movement:  definitely schedule this in!  It may be a walk around the block, yoga (you tube has so many free videos – Adrienne, Cosmic Kids), bike riding, parks where you can kick a ball or hike or fly a kite…

If you think you had a terrible, horrible no good very bad day, do not be hard on yourself – or your kids – as this is all new for most of you.  Adjust the schedule, add more fun 😊…talk about it at breakfast and do some good breathing. 

In the next day or so I will add some suggestions about responsibility, walks, art and games.

Hang in there!